I Promised to Take Care of You and to Protect You
by CharlieRoseJA
Summary: Jack and Audrey Post season 6. AU. Will they ever be able to recapture what they once had?
1. Chapter 1

**I apologize for the extreme shortness of this chapter, I've never written fanfiction so this is my first try, I just wanted to publish the flavour of the story. Please review and let me know what you think. Usual fanfiction disclaimers apply - I do not own 24, its characters etc...**_  
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_"I know that I promised to take care of you and protect you... but I'm at a crossroads. Right now, the best way... the only way... to do that is to let you go. I hope one day you can understand. I hope one day you can forgive me. I love you with all my heart. And I always will."_

He was broken when he left, worn down in a way that even his stay in China hadn't left him. It wasn't just that he blamed himself, a factor which perhaps one day I could have remedied, but I reminded him of it all, the cold kiss of the concrete floors which had become our only comfort, the damp smell of the air. That was something I knew I could never change, so even once I started to become "responsive, clinically speaking," as my doctor said, I didn't try to speak to him. In fact I had ceased to speak altogether.

I couldn't reach out to him. After all, I often mused, it was my fault, if only I hadn't blindly followed Jack to China, convincing myself at the time that it was a mark of love and not one of stupidity, I would have been there by his side, caressing him through his nightmares and offering reassurance. Instead, here I am, incapable of doing so, and having driven him away through my foolishness. You would think me on my deathbed from the way my father still treats me, and I wonder if it will ever change.

"Audrey, sweetheart, how are you feeling today?" he asked me every morning. Everyday I responded in the same way, I don't know why he continued to ask. I never replied, instead gazing through the window. I had long learnt that meeting anyone's gaze invited unwanted conversation.

Today was different though, I could tell. He pressed me, something he never did for fear that I would retreat further into my shell. "Audrey, look at me. Please?" I glanced at him, unsure of what he wanted from me, before returning to my view out of the window. It changed only subtly, but it changed constantly, both fascinating and occupying me. The fractional shift of the flowers in the sun, the changing curve of the long grasses in the wind. Occasionally, there would be a by-passer.

"Damn it Audrey, I don't know what to do anymore. I need your help. I need you to want to get better Audrey." The whisper from behind me tore me apart, and yet, I knew no remedy for it.

Parents of a newborn child revel in their child's first word, in the same way, Dr Kepper and my father obsessed over my last. Not just my last but my last hundreds of words, they were all the same. "Jack." It had been at times a simple utterance, at others a plea, but it had never changed.

"Sir, with all due respect, I am still convinced that the best course of action at this point would be to bring Jack in."

"As I said, Dr Kepper, that is an option I simply will not tolerate. His return would do far more harm than good."

Or so it went, back and forth, in a number of variations, on an almost daily basis. However today I heard something I never thought I would.

"Sir, if you'll allow me to say this... I realize that this is a delicate matter, however at this point I feel it is necessary to ask if you are allowing obstinacy to cloud your judgement and prevent you from making the best decision for your daughter."

This would no doubt end terribly. Dr Kepper had just crossed a line which even I, as my father's daughter would rarely have dared cross. I returned my focus once more to the garden outside my window, and to beyond it, to the gentle rolling sea.


	2. Chapter 2

**As it turns out, at the moment I'm quite enjoying the very short chapters, it means I can get something up more often so I'm going to continue like that for now. Thanks to my two reviewers so far, its really encouraging when readers are so positive! **

I felt something trickle down my arm, a tear perhaps.

"Oh sweetheart, you know that I try to do my best for you right? I'm scared Audrey, of losing you… but also of losing the real you. The one who went to China and never came back. It's been hard, but I'm not sure I really have a choice, I've got to try, although I'm scared that I'm wrong, or that it just won't work…"

It had been 2 weeks since Dr Kepper had confronted my father, 2 weeks since I had even opened my eyes. I just didn't have it in me, hearing them argue had made me realize I should return to quiet contemplation.

My deteriorating condition had been a great cause of concern for both my father and Dr Kepper, but I felt better than I had for a long time, erasing from my memory the six words which changed my world.

"Honey, he's not coming back."

Instead I let the pain from China flood me and overshadow the stinging pain of Jack's departure. He had said he would never leave. Yet here I am, allowing the excruciating cold of the drugs straight out of the fridge fill me and set every nerve ending inside me on fire, time and time again.

He had barely been here for a few minutes when I felt the warmth of his hand, which had become a constant, leave my forearm. This had never happened before. Although I had lost my ability to truly keep track of time, I knew that never had he come in and left so soon after.

I heard the quiet echo of his footsteps diminishing as he left. I wondered what it would have sounded like when Jack left for the last time. His step was lighter, in fact he could walk almost silently, however he had learnt to walk with a heavier tread when he had repeatedly frightened people unwittingly by his unannounced appearance.

_I had been cooking a meal for us to enjoy, adding the finishing touches of crème de marron in swirls on my first attempt at replicating Angelina's famous Mont-Blanc. Suddenly, I'd felt a warm touch around my waist._

_"Jesus Christ! You don't think you could have warned me do you?"_

_He had chuckled, the warmth spreading to his clear blue eyes as they'd crinkled in affection._

_"I didn't even know you were home! And now, my Mont-Blanc is all ruined!" I'd exclaimed in mock-anger. His response had been to dip his finger into my chestnut cream meringue cake and taste it._

_"Well either way, it still tastes the same… do you want to try?" He'd held his finger out to me and I'd obliged, licking it clean, lightly grazing my teeth on the calloused pads of his finger._

_"It's not bad, if I do say so myself, but you still ruined my cake. Next time, warn me maybe? Otherwise one day you'll finish by giving me a heart-attack." I'd joked._

_He'd only nodded once, but he'd understood._

_"Hmm... now I want more of this cake you're making…" he'd said taking a small piece in his hand._

_'Hey! Wait till later!"_

_He'd taken a bite and grinning, tried to make me have some too, chuckling as he'd reached for me, making me try to hold the cake at arm's length, giggling as I'd failed. _

Who had I been kidding… this was Jack Bauer we were talking about. I was never going to win a fight against him, even a play-fight_._

Reminders of moments such as these were truly bittersweet, a reminder of happiness, but also a reminder that those times were long gone, a reminder of my inability to not fuck everything up. Sometimes I even wonder if my memory is tricking me, making those little moments seem better than they were, just to torment me all the more.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks again to my reviewers! It really helps to keep my writing when I get feedback. Also this is a bit of a filler chapter I'm sorry but bear with me for a little longer and you'll get some much needed Jack and Audrey :) **

"_I don't give a shit about sleeping, Leon. I want love, or death. That's it. "_

That's quite a point of view for a twelve-year-old girl to have, I thought to myself. Today, my father had set up by my bedside to watch Leon: The Professional, not exactly bedside fluff, but it had once been one of my favourites. Not that I took much notice this time around.

However that quote did stay with me. It came to haunt me, surprising really when I remember all the times I'd watched that movie without once taking notice of that quote. I had neither love nor death and I had spent the large majority of the past few months sleeping, so according to this, my life was more or less worthless.

The harsh sound of my father's cell phone broke into my thoughts.

"Hello?"

I couldn't hear the other end of the line, but I strained my ears none the less. On the whole my father avoided taking calls in my room at all costs so he must have been expecting an important call.

"Thank you for calling, I've been meaning to speak to you about"

It seemed my father had been cut off.

"Right. Well then, why didn't you come earlier if you'd known all along?"

He sounded indignant, before he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"I realize that, do you think you could set all that aside and come by?"

"Thanks"

There was a short pause before he hung up. I heard the legs of the chair scrape on the floor as he sat down, and my father muttered to himself softly. All I managed to catch was _"Don't…. for Audrey… not for you"_

Since when did my father's work have anything to do with me?

I wanted to ask him what this was all about, but I couldn't, anyways it didn't really matter, quickly sleep overcame me once again and I allowed myself to drift into my timeless dreams.

* * *

"Jack?... Jack?..." My father held my hand.

"Shh, sweetie it's ok…."

I could feel the clamminess of my hands and the sweat in my hair as I woke up. It's ok, I realized, I'm still in my bed, staring up at the ceiling, with the whirr of a lawnmower just outside my window. I wasn't in China.

My father began to read his book aloud once he had realized I had woken up.

"… _on every surface of every column as far as her eyes could see there were names teeming, reeling, over surfaces of yards, of hundreds of yards, over furlongs of stone."_

I had once been haunted by dreams in which I would read the name "Jack Bauer" on a memorial such as the one described in this book. Each time I would trace my finger over the indentations in the stone, feeling the chiselled ridges of it beneath my finger. I would feel within me the name "Jack Bauer", one of those who had been presumed dead, and never been found. Of course it made little sense. Jack hadn't disappeared at war, so such a memorial would never exist despite his service for the country. Nevertheless, such is the nature of dreams that it recurred countless times, and each time I panicked and broke down. A single salty tear carving its way over my cheek before hundreds more followed.

"_She moved through the space beneath the arch where the man was sweeping. She found the other pillars identically marked, their faces obliterated on all sides by the names that were carved on them."_

My father momentarily paused reading to me as we heard footsteps approaching the door and a young nurse came inside.

"Mr Heller, there is a visitor here. Would you like me to bring him here?"

"No, I'll go do it myself. Thank you."

And with that, my father left my side.

A visitor? In my 5 months stay here I had yet to have a visitor other than my father and brother, both of whom turned up unannounced. Who could this be?


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm well aware that its been absolutely ages since I last updated, I'm so sorry I've been busy going on holiday etc... Hopefully I can get this story moving again now that I'm back :) I know my chapters are always short, I'm working on getting more longer ones up more often but I felt you shouldn't wait for this one any longer! Reviews always appreciated of course :D**

I heard the footfalls as my father and my visitor neared my door. I could already tell that he was a man from his step, but my father and him didn't talk, they seemed to be walking in silence.

I looked through the window, perhaps this was a new specialist, come to see me following my lack of progress.

"Audrey?"

My breath caught in my throat at that voice, and yet I dared not turn and look him in the eye for fear that this was another trick of my imagination. Was it possible?

But it had to be. From the steady rhythm of his breaths to the woody scent of his cologne, everything about this person in my room was just like Jack Bauer.

I felt my breath hitch in my throat at the sudden realization, mirrored by the person I presumed to be Jack who I heard sit down behind me. I could even imagine his ice blue eyes tracing over my straw-like hair and my skeletal figure in amazement and shock at what had become of me.

That was when I felt him gently tuck the stray hairs covering my face behind my ear. The sensation was so tender and familiar, and it triggered so many of my emotions that I felt a spark from the very core of my body resonate within me.

Betrayal. Hurt. Despair. Love.

I battled with the heaviness of my lids, hoping to get a glimpse of his rugged features and begin to understand how he was feeling. Slowly, as if the air around me was thick like glue or treacle, I felt my eyes open, and his face, lined with concern, came into my field of vision, although not for long. His expression, unlike the surprise I had expected, betrayed no astonishment at my state if he felt any, and it dawned on me that it was more than likely that in his own way, he had been keeping an eye on me.

He saw me open my eyes, and I felt a small drop of water land on my arm as this man who was capable of killing someone should it be necessary, let his strong façade slip for just a fraction of a second.

"Oh Audrey…" I heard him say, and I imagined his face, full of desperation look down on me.

I barely noticed the sound of my father's heavier footfalls as he made his way out of the room, so absorbed was I with the idea of Jack being here to see me, but I was alone with him once again, for the first time in months.

"Please… Forgive me…"

I opened my eyes once again, in an attempt to acknowledge what he had said, before exhausted, I allowed myself to slip back into the quiet darkness that I had become so accustomed to. Yet this time the silence that enveloped me didn't seem so hostile as I knew Jack was there beside me.


End file.
